Memory & Moment
When we were dating in NYC, Doug always kept Café Bustelo in the house — the big, bright yellow party-size containers. I didn’t think much of it back then. We usually grabbed Starbucks or Dunkin’, and I never paid attention to the other brands sitting on the shelf.
But after he passed, I saw that same bright yellow Bustelo container at the store, and it stopped me. It felt like seeing a piece of our old life — something so ordinary it never registered at the time, and suddenly it was loud with memory.
I bought one. I made a cup. And it was strong — stronger than anything else I’d been drinking. And honestly? Much better than Starbucks.
I remember thinking, Why didn’t we drink this instead? Maybe he knew. Maybe he always knew something simple and good, but I wasn’t ready to notice it yet.
The Scent
And that first sip brought back something else — the mornings we shared on the back swing or the porch out front, quiet moments with our coffee before the day really began. Doug always ended those conversations by asking, “What’s your plan for the day?” It wasn’t small talk. It was his way of helping me start the morning with intention, making sure I had something steady beneath me before the day pulled me in different directions. I didn’t realize at the time how much that grounded me.
Drinking Bustelo became a quiet ritual — a way to feel close to him without forcing anything. A reminder that some parts of him stayed in the routines we built together, even if I only understand the meaning now.
Supportive Practices for Ritual & Resilience
Sometimes the strength we need hides in the smallest rituals — a cup of coffee, a familiar
question, a memory that warms the morning.
• Morning Memory Check-In: Think of one small routine you shared with someone you lost.
How does it show up in your life now?
• Strength in the Simple Things: Name one everyday thing (coffee, a scent, a song, morning
air) that brings steadiness when you need it.
• Make One Thing Intentional: Prepare a warm drink slowly and mindfully. Let it be a moment
of grounding instead of rushing.
Reflection: Strength in the Small Rituals
Grief changes how we see the everyday objects around us. A container of coffee becomes more than coffee — it becomes a link to who we were, who we loved, and the quiet routines we didn’t realize were shaping us.
I didn’t choose Bustelo because it was nostalgic. I chose it because it was strong. And in those early days, I needed something strong to carry me.
Rituals like that don’t replace the person we lost — but they remind us we’re still capable of getting through the morning.
Healing Calendar Reflection
Healing often begins in the routines that stayed — the quiet rituals that remind you you’ve made it through harder mornings before.
Prompt: What everyday ritual still brings you a sense of strength or connection?
