Changing of the season
Pumpkin spice season is more than a trend for me—it carries pieces of Douglas. When we first met, he would talk about pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks and would always get the pumpkin spice caramel macchiato.
The first fall after Douglas passed, I went overboard with pumpkin spice candles. I lit them at home, filling the house with the scents he loved, trying to hold onto a ritual we shared. I even sent one to his friend, telling him it was Douglas’ favorite.
The Scent
I still have one candle left. It sat untouched last year, but I plan to burn it again this season. The scent is a memory trigger—of him grabbing the candle from me to light it right away, of both of us noticing and commenting on the fragrance. It was such a simple joy, but one that made our home feel alive. After he was gone, I bought too many—like I did with his favorite snacks—until I realized it was only me left, and I needed to pace myself. Now I save them for special days like birthdays and anniversaries, a ritual to honor him.
This time of year was Douglas’ favorite.
He would always say how much he loved late August and early
September—the cooler weather, our birthdays, and the holidays ahead.
That memory still stays with
me, reminding me of his presence in these seasonal changes.
Healing Practice:
Try creating your own seasonal ritual that honors your loved one. It could be lighting a candle, cooking their favorite fall recipe, or writing a note to them each year as the leaves begin to change. Rituals don’t erase the grief, but they give it a shape—something steady to hold onto when everything else feels uncertain.
Calendar Reflection
As autumn arrives, schedule a small ritual into your healing calendar. Mark a day to intentionally light a candle, prepare a meal, or embrace a tradition that connects you with your loved one. Let this practice remind you that while seasons shift, the bond you carry never fades.
